Thursday, 21 January 2016

Sharing Some Of My Work With You.

I've always wanted to share my work with other people and so I thought that today I would do exactly that. I've been working on a little things and I wanted to post two small parts of what I've written to get some feedback. I would love it if you could read each of them and give me your thought and feedback in the comments?
The pieces are not in order of how I've originally written them and I cant say they're perfect but I guess that's the whole point of feedback right?
She drops her legs down from her chest and opens her eyes finding that she's not shaking like she was before, everything else was. Vibrations travelled through her feet and up her legs, and they stop at her knees and hips so her upper half doesn’t move much but she could still feel them. Inhaling deep, a wave of panic grows in her stomach when after the silence she hears creaking, muffled bangs and groans.

“Jake.” She calls to him, shaking his sleeping body hard, he doesn’t budge at first but the second time around he groans, his eyes opening slowly.

“We need to get out right now.” She alerts him, feeling the vibrations strengthen, the smashing and groans growing louder like it was right beneath them.

Jake is fully awake when he hears a large grumble from their left and the fear in his eyes registers and by the time he’s off the sofa and Jennifer has her phone in hand, he’s holding tightly to her free hand and rushing out of the house and down the path not looking behind until they reach the road where the traffic was thankfully non-existent.

The inquisitive side of Jennifer got the better of her and led her to getting changed into a pair of black skinny jeans and a white tank top and black shoes. Throwing her pyjamas onto the floor as she'll pick them back up later. Running down the stairs she quickly opens the door and steps out, shutting it after herself.

The air was cold, raising goose bumps on her fair skin. Folding her arms across herself and rubbing at the skin trying to rid herself of the bumps as she walks down the path looking through the traffic for anyone watching her. Luckily no one was, and the traffic was below a steady flow, so crossing the road was easier than usual. Looking around again Jennifer checks for peering eyes but getting the all clear again, she crouches below the yellow police tape and takes a step.


  1. Charlie, how wonderful that you shared some of your work! That takes courage. Definitely keep writing--what you shared here is very exciting stuff.

    1. Lora, I was completely torn between posting it but in the end I did and was worried about the feedback I'd get. And I'm glad you think it is exciting. I'm definitely going to continue writing it xxx

      Thank you do much for the feedback.